You round the corner to your cubical prepared to kick off the day’s work when you are all of a sudden attacked by the familiar stink of a work-mate’s dragon breath. “Another ‘H’-filled tirade that won’t ever permeate my ears because I am too busy attempting to keep it from infiltrating my nose.” “So anywahhhhy,” continues your co-worker, “Hhhhank Hhhhenshhhhaaw from Hhhhuman Reshhhhourcess told me ouhhhhhr 401k plahhhhn is an outstahhhhnding invehhhhhstment optiohhhhhn “.
Somehow, we’d prefer to think that our forced grin and shriveling eyelashes might tell the offending party that there’s something less than stellar about the way they’re coming across.
The difficulty is that nobody knows they have got a problem. We appear to be immune to our own stink, and unlike Willy Nelson’s muse, it’s never on our minds. So how does one tell somebody that their breathe is forcing you to have an issue differentiating their head from their derriere? Sure, if it is somebody you know and are ok with, you can try truth.
Do you play it off like it is a one off occurrence you spotted and hope that discussing it looks after the situation for good? Do you sit them down and have a heavy debate which could finally embarrass them or make you seem like the bad person? How do they react to either scenario? You’d need to be informed if you had dragon breath, would not you? Would you feel cushy being told by this person that you have bad breath? Do you actually know them good enough to be deliberating this situation with them? These are all crucial questions whose answers will change with each unique situation. Still, there are a few things you can avoid pronouncing that are universal across all scenarios. I have taken the freedom of listing a couple of them below.
Remember, truthfulness is the best policy, but savage truthfulness is regularly needless. One Gee, is that your breath or did I blow my nose straight after wiping my ass? Two and now here’s me with the weather: Thanks, me. Well it seems like there is a ponged front moving eastwards from wherever your mouth actually is. We are looking at a 100% chance of Dragon breath throughout the remainder of your life. A sport is next followed by today’s lotto numbers. To need to stand here and hear you is agonizingly distressing. Hey, you ever see that “Alien” flick where the alien is inhaling Sigourney Weaver’s face and she just cringes as the thing is so frightening and as its spit is an acid that may eat thru metal? This is a lot like that because although your spit will not eat through metal, I am reasonably certain your mouth-stench will and that’s scaring the crap out of me, my mate. So you see, dear reader, one must choose meticulously when nearing a subject this delicate. Maybe veracity is not always the best policy. Better yet, why not just leave an incognito note and a breath mint.
Tags: Bad Breath, Handling Bad Breath